Tentang Cinta

Wahhhh..., mau ngomong apa yah tentang cinta...
Yang jelas tema ini akhir akhir ini lagi nge-trend bangets nih di sekitaran circle temen2ku dan saudaraku..
Dari yang religius bangets.., cueks.., serius.., pendekata psikologis.., rasional.., hehehe...
Pernah suatu ketika ada temenku yang nanya.., how on earth could you be in a relationship for such a long time..
To tell you the truth, I don't have a 100% satisfying answer to that question..

Love needs tending.., like a plant it needs to be water.., said my friend, Kay's mom.., you can read her article, Love and Plant, a very good article, just click on the link.
My other friend said that, "Some words are better left unspoken" the example of that is of course the word of love (which I totally disagree.. :P .. I think we always have to express love)
My other friend said that love is overrated.. And my other friend (gank buntu pasti tahu dong siapaaa.. hehehe) that love is closed or almost identical with s*x... ehehehehehehehehhe....

Nevertheless, I think.., love does need tending...
You have to love first before being loved.. sometimes even I believe that love is just a feeling we create.., that we can love just practically anybody that we desire..., we can stay loyal and truthful to anyone that we choose.., It's very easy...
Yet.., is it also easy to find somebody that love us back loyally and truthfully?

Now.., a case study.. I do believe that if we love somebody.., we have to work it, we have to show our love to him/her, be persistent in showing the love every single step of the way.
I just read an article in Reader's Digest of a Phillipines couple that loves each other but was forbidden to marry by their family. The girl is caged at her parents house.., forbidden to go out... But every single night the boy would walk down the alley of houses blocks to her gate and wait there..
Every single night! After a while the mother let her daughter to see him on the gate. After a while he was welcomed at the porch. After a while he was welcome at the guest meeting room. After a while the parent approve them.., all because the boy take that road to his girl's house every single night relentlessly...

I really do think that love should be like that.. Love should be shown and worked on right from the beginning, middle and the end. And this applies to both women and men. I certainly did that. I didn't get my bf, I earned him.
But if the love of your life does not love you back.., what should you do? ... I really think you should keep on loving him/her as a friend while looking for somebody else to love.

Sometimes, relationship does get sour, boring, dull, and there even sometimes you are very mad at your partner you just want to dump him/her right there on the spot. We're Asians I think are lucky, because we have an abundace of what I think of as a good example from our parents. Even if the relationships crumble, they stick together. And when they have stuck together pass the turmoil moments, it turned out that the relationships is getting stronger instead of weaker.
When I am bored of a relationship, I simply called it a time off, and before I know it, I already miss it.. ;)

There's a scene that touches me the most from Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis movie about relationship. They were a couple that has lost the spark in their relationship and very bored with each other, yet they stayed married and acted harmonious for the sake of their children..
To make a long story short, finally they decided to get a divorce and to tell their children about it. Their children was quite schocked but then the show must go on...
But after they decided to get a divorce both of them starting to view life in a different perspectives. One scene that touches me the most was from the last scene, when after negotiating on the terms and conditions of the divorce and the child care, Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis somehow had to pick their children together and at that time Michelle just snapped, she cried and said that she wouldn't want to lose their history together.., She dreaded the possibility of having somebody else as a partner in her life, and when they walk pass a stair or something, would not be able to share the story of the child had fallen from that stairs during some occasion. Because the partner will not share the same memories...

That really hits me... Loving somebody is easy and that is something that you must do.
Having somebody loving you back is truly a blessing.., it is not a coincidence, I believe it is God given..
Having a long history with somebody is even more a blessing..
To take that away is never a good idea..., It's like creating a void in your life and in your heart...
There is nothing that cannot be settled between two hearts that love each other, I truly believe..
Unless one is being unreasonable and abusive, I really think that love really can be mended and renewed every day. Like the motto of the Phillipines couple: ... Love Lasts...